damn, it was a full moon yesterday. why didnt' fox tell me about it? why didnt fox look at it? full moon, it's beautiful, majestic and so mystical. full moons are ought to be looked upon. i had told myself not to like him, but feelings can't be forced. or can it? i like him, damn i really do. but why this? i'm not doing myself justice. school has yet to start and maybe im filling up my time with surreal fantasies. maybe once poly starts i'll snap out of this bullshit and study hard. i hate this feeling.
was it really his papa who had been sms-ing me all this while? was i made a fool by his papa? damn, why this? i like him so bloody much. fox i like you, yes i do. i know it's not your problem if some bloody girl likes you, you told me that before. but.. oh damn.. feelings can't be altered overnight. i can't just stop liking you, no i can't. why did you even start with the sms and being nice and stuff? damn, im crazy in love, im very much sensitive to everything you do. even if it is what you consider normal but from my point of view, it's totally different. listen! i like you, hell i do. stop being so nice if you don't like me. stop all these 'oh -i-can-help-you' bullshit. i don't need your help. stop being like a friend who's always there. you're differrent, i like you. don't ever sms me ever ever again if you don't share the same feelings. damn, fox i hate you. go away, leave me alone. don't ever sms me, you're just sending of wrong signals. it's all wrong. and i can't stop myself from liking you. when you do try to be nice to me, i like you even more. so stop it, please pretend im dead or something. STOP IT! just stop, leave me alone. i don't want to be made a fool. i have my own pride, don't prick it.
damn fox, it just hurts to face reality. why did you even start in the first place? fuck you, why? were u just fuckingly bored and you just need something to entertain you? am i that insignificant something? never do that again you bitch. i hate you for that. don't meddle with matters that concern the heart. please, bloody please be more sensitive. you're sending of the wrong things. i get wrong signals. i dont want this to happen. no more ...please, it just hurts. my pride my heart my ego. damn you. i hate you i really hate you. just shut up.... dammit, i hate you.
the more i hate the fonder the heart becomes...... please fox, understand..... damn, leave me alone if you want to. but you can never stop the yearning heart from yearning.
