i am miniting

gee wee

2009-02-11T17:31:00.003+08:00

. so what .

yea, i know i havent been updating this page. that's because i hooked onto another page. but i will return cause i still kinda like blogger.

sorry, maybe i'll post nude pictutes of myself on the next post to make up for it.
hoh!

2009-01-10T00:27:00.002+08:00

. hello world.

it's 28minutes after midnight and here i am all alone in the MO office blogging cause a certain someone (NORAINI BINTE AMAN) flooded my tagborad about me not updating. so here i am.

my wisdom tooth is growing. damn it hurts.
6 more hours till morning.
nights are boring especially when the staff arent really young like myself.

my new year resolution is to exercise.
wait. that was my last year's resolution.
geez..

dammit la. im beyond fat. i got meat hanging from my everywhere. get what i mean?
sheesh~

imy~

2008-12-11T16:41:00.002+08:00

. brrr ... .

im beginning to miss this space.

happyhappydaywithhappygrrlfriends :))

no worries people im not dead.

gaaah

2008-09-11T17:41:00.005+08:00

:: gaaah ::

i feel freaking horny. im fasting. dammit.

im starting to love CA. marks are out, didnt do that well (as compared to others).
she aint around most of the time.
she should have asked the staff. i personally feel that i did great.
anyone out there who can provide me with a listening ear?
i need to grumble and complain and bitch and maybe cry.

ouhwells, dahbis dah pun. buat bodoh sua.
sekarang, i terpaksa buat bendebendala pasal defrib. sheeesh~
zuli refuses to do. okla, i will do tapi slipshot work.

i'll take more cases next week. marks aint matter la hor
-it's based on bias perception. gaaaaaahh...

all that aside, ilovethispicture. ni dipanggil sisterluRp. eh mane ain?

=D

death

2008-09-08T11:32:00.002+08:00

:: death ::

someone i know, i mean knew just passed away on the 3rd of Sep.
i was beyond shocked when the news came.
i knew this person and he knew me.
we used to verbal fight alot.

and now he's gone.
i didnt even have time to seek forgiveness and stuff like that.

whatever it is, i hope your soul will rest in peace alongside those close to God.
Amin.

somewhere

2008-08-30T18:38:00.004+08:00

:: after so long ::

i was walking around and i saw this dude (middle age man la so to say) with a boring grey tee on. but what caught my stupor attention was the printed words which boldly screamed, "those who wander are not always lost."

waaaaaahhhh~
ok, i shall stop acting mysterious and smart.

lepaking now. somewhere with someone who had conveniently brought along the handy-dandy notebook for me to update my virtual life which, you had obviously noticed, is dormant for quite some time.

i like this picture cause i think i look fierce. cheyyy~

school is out and attachments are in. and dammit, imissschoolmacamnakrak.
there's so much i wanna blog about but due to the time restrain and the dying battery of the lappie, i shall stop here.

im gonna get my comp at home fixed as soon as i stop spending my money on food, clothes and more food.
and im gonna get my vespa lambretta as soon as i blossom up a relationship with a tycoon.

ambok and pilots

2008-07-21T18:14:00.003+08:00

:: ambok and pilots ::

a few weeks ago ambok mentioned that a friend of his went to attend the son's graduation at Australia. He was the few out of hundreds who managed to ace the exams and to top that he is the only malay.

"yana teke ape graduation?"
"ape? doctor ke?"
"kawan anak ambok graduate jadi pilot la!
- 3 tahun die kat australia blaja naik kapalterbang."
"hualamak, mesti gaji best"
"mesti la, dapat lesen kapalterbang!!"

anak beranak ketawe terbahak-bahak.

"jadi ambok pun action balik la
- ambok cakap anak ambok pun baru dapat lesen. LESEN 2B!"

kurang asam betul bapak aku?!

TRANSLATION

"make a guess what kinda graduation it was"
"what ehh? doctor?"
"graduate become pilot la- 3 years learn how to drive aeroplane"
"hualamak, i bet he'll get a lucrative paycheck"
"of course! get aeroplane license what"

burst into laughing fit

"so i tried to counter and said my daughter too just obtained her license. and it's CLASS 2B!!"

-_- thanks r~

according to ambok- not too sure if it's true- the young lad isnt just any budget airline pilot nor does he fly commercial aeroplanes. as a matter of fact, he flies those cool-cool fighter planes thingy you see during airshows.
aint that cool?! and i bet he's hot.

late

2008-07-07T09:24:00.003+08:00

:: late ::

class starts at 8am but im late. so here i am, in the school library idling my youth away. im usually early thanks to the shuttle bus but sleep got the better of me. the ambok offered to send me to school and throughout the 45mins drive, i somehow got a lecture on how to drive safe.

" kau mesti pandai plan your route... filter betul-betul.... jangan asal boleh pusing jek....."

yes yes ambok, got you. but wait a minute, i dont even have my vespa. well, not yet. teeheehee. the last kept on asking if i was joking about the part of me passing tp part. she's still in denial and chose to believe that im lying and that piece of paper which allows me to drive while awating my actual license is fake. i cant belive it myself. aku macam serondeng gini dah dapat lesen. confirm mati on the road. rizal! kau mesti pass la, kau terror perr...

anyhoo, aint getting any form of vehicle just yet. no money la. true enough, im bonded but i still got my 3 naughty cats to support PLUS! i just spent over 1k on the new refridgerator. so i guess, it's still those sbs buses for me.

***

ambok thinks im skipping meals. as in on purpose. he gave me this looong, noooong lecture about the importance of eating well and how Islam forbids us from self-harm. and it was just because i chose not to eat the laksa he bought.

mak thinks im too self-conscious as well. chill la.... my weight doesnt determine whether im having eating problems. as a matter of fact, my weight worries me. with all the babat that i have hanging from my waist (and everywhere else), i shouldnt be of that weight. maybe im dying but i dont wanna die before i get the chance to ride and get married.

lalalala, got to go back to class. i vow not to oversleep anymore and get on that shuttle bus to be at least half an hour early for school.

yeehaa!!!

atlast

2008-07-03T17:43:00.005+08:00

:: thank you God:

after 10 years or so and after spending close to $50,000, i finally made it. i am now a qualified road user. teeheehee.

thank you rizal, su, paula&said my mak&ambok for the doas and faith. oh! special thanks to sivashankari for feeling hard for me. thank you to those who wished too.

and thank you God for letting me pass.

after those tiring waits, those fail moments and plenty of tears on the pillow, it's finally over. i wanted it so badly but now it's kinda surreal that i actually cleared.

ok my birthday is coming! get me a vespa please?! someone?

teeheehee

2008-06-27T15:53:00.003+08:00

:: still alive ::

no worries to all, im pretty much alive. just that my comp went anal on me and thus the lack of updates.

but my life boring la..... tak best. adalah unsur-unsur yang best tetapi susah untuk saya blog tentangnya. chehh, stoppit.

ok anyway, some asshole hacked my frienster account. my "hello little boys little toys" song has changed.

dah. itu sahaja lah updateku pada hari ini. ku sudah megatakan bukan? hidupku ini agak membosankan.

watimon

2008-05-27T11:09:00.000+08:00

wati gila. period.

hehehehe

ulang tahun

2008-05-02T22:56:00.003+08:00

:: ulang tahun ::

happy birthday dear fyza and royiryan. God bless :)

funny how two people can share the same birthday.

my aunt's birthday also falls on this day. cool ehh...

fyza.

picture taken back in Cambodia.

you know what gf, i somehow miss that YEP.

royiryan
picture was taken eons ago.
i had to draw the hair and the janggut to make him look like what he is now.

monthly bleed

2008-04-27T17:36:00.002+08:00

:: monthly bleed ::

the men used to have the monthly bleeds. they made use of hallow bamboos to catch the blood. but the bamboos got in the way while they work in the fields. so the men prayed to God for the women to have it instead.

thanks ehh....

oh wells

2008-04-22T23:08:00.006+08:00

:: ohwells ::

fcuked day indeed. the nose drips like a faulty tap and it pisses me off when i run out of tissue.

so there i was, alone, grocery shopping at sheng shiong even though i couldnt breathe. i hate hypermarkets. i prefer old school pasar where the floors are wet and the smell is sharper. but too bad pasars dont open at 7.11 pm.

even with the inflation and the ever rising cost of products i aint feeling the pinch when i reached for stuff i feel the family needs. we gotta use, we gotta buy la. not much choice what.
so anyway, bought stuff and i paid a bomb for it all.

on the list, some things we dont really need are
- spinach pasta *the green got me
- seafood campbell's soup with scallop *waaaaahhh
- olive oil for cooking * wth, costs twice as much as normal cooking oil
- brocoli *if you didnt know, it's my fav vege
- organic baby carrots *to feed kush-kush
- systema toothbrushes
- 5kg golden pagoda rice
- 3L UIC detergent *we still got the pwder one at home
- ribena light
- pandan chiffon cake
- vanish power O2 stain remover
- chicken and tomyam stock
- mr muscle toilet cleaner
- airwick aroma gel
- cheena apples
- cheena pears
- red bayam
- broom
- johnson baby shampoo *for handsome :)
- FROZEN MEAT

and more...

called mak to pick me up cause i'll just die if i were to bring all of it home by myself.
you see, i dont really spend much on clothes and accesories and whatnots.
most of my bond money goes back to the family, i aint rich you see. i always believe that money can be earned back.

that satisfaction after shopping for family is pricless.

teman

2008-04-21T21:59:00.003+08:00

:: fiq&zul ::

tinggal aku ngan kau je la, fiq.
tapi nanti kau dah masuk jail, tinggal aku sorang.
lame-lame, zul ni pun akan hilang.

senior

2008-04-16T09:35:00.005+08:00

:: cry-sis ::

ana commented, " blakang slide traction tapi ko naek commode and tgn backslab. Ape maksod Ain!! hahaha!!! "

i got this off friendster. hah. this crazy woman didnt know what was going on. this happened during our sweet year2 period. imagine how more confuse she'll become now that we are in year 3.

things arent as easy. time doesnt seem enough. age is catching up and everybody's changing but i dont feel the same.

akhir

2008-04-10T11:06:00.003+08:00

:: iron your tattoo ::

monday :)

out with the girls to little india and walked all the way to marina.

us, the pokok and my yellow slippers. heh

tuesday:)
out with ben and eric to the SPCA!!

ben "ehh, eric scared of dogs"
me "really arh?"
eric "no laaaaa"

burst into laughing fits.

wednesday:)
out swimming with sister.

lifeguard "excuse me, can you please swim in the medium pool"
me "alamak, kena lagi"

cat show

2008-04-07T00:04:00.010+08:00

:: pussy cat miao ::

Cat Show: Singapore expo
Theme: Bollywood (hahahaha, so merepek can?!)

i went there alright but not to participate. my miaos arent competition standard, so i just dropped by Singapore expo earlier today to look-look see-see. those cats were so bloody cute laaaa. and mind you, they're of pure breed- meaning, they cost a bomb. hah!

me and mussy *ok, stop staring at my fugface can.

the owner was nice enough to let me hold her. sooo unlike some f*cked up bitch who wont even let visitors touch her cat's paw. the malay contestants were really nice, they talked to me, let me touch the cats, ramas-ramas kucing diorang. but i kept my distance when it comes to them chinese, not that im racist but cmmon! loosen up bitch. (nasib baik kucing kau cute..sheesh)

ouh, thanks fiq for the company. sungguh random, tapi tkpe. hahaha

cute kan?? =D

handsome, kurbit and silver may not have the softest bulu or the prettiest coat. but to me, they are the best miaos one could ever ask for.

that's kurbit sleeping. she sleeps in any position she fancies.

naughty

2008-03-31T00:03:00.005+08:00

:: naughty cats ::

my baby kurbit on tik's lap :)

she's not as fat no more cause of the elizabethan collar i put on her. you see, kurbit has this nasty rash on her right leg. the collar limits her from devouring the other miao's food even though she has her own. she has this awful habit of fighting when eating. i guess gluttony is her deadliest sin.

once upon a day, handsome was playing with her but he got too rough and thus! a bruise which overtime, resulted to the rash. handsome is 5 bloody times heavier than kurbit la sey: kalau main gaduh-gadauh, mestilah handsome menang. si kecik tu pun tk sedar diri, nak main dgn the big boys. it got worst as she kept licking it.

every morning after the miao's breakfast, i'll pick her up clean her rashy area and apply the antibiotic powder. only then i realise her leg looks like a chicken wing, the raw type. as i even out the powder on her, i feel as if im marinating the chicken wing (leg).

in the afternoon, it's usually the 2nd's duty to clean her leg and all. sometimes, a reminder is needed and it often goes like this....

kakakYana- Ina! si kurbit tu~ pergi marinate chicken wing dia.
Ina- Mana marinator(is there even such a word!) dia?
kakakYana- powder dia kat atas meja dapur... pergi cari sendiri.

once done...
kakakYana- Waaah!! kaki kurbit is delicious! nanti malam kita panggang. heh

she enjoys flying across the living room,
climb my kain as if she's spidercat
and she sleeps alot.
the best part is, she has the softest bulu and she doesnt mind me burying my face in it, unlike handsome.

stoneheart

2008-03-27T00:21:00.004+08:00

:: stoneheart ::

Once upon a time, while i was wiping butt with this particularly good-looking AN, i realised that i hardly have feeling/emotions/crap for my patients. we were to turn this particular comatose patient, clean his butt, change his diapers and whatnots.

while this handsome AN and i were putting on our PPE he said, "i hate to see patients like this. makes me feel sad."
i smiled it off and thought, "how come i got no feelings one?"

sheesh, im not even a staff nurse yet. it worries me alot that i dont feel anything. truth said, i just do what i gotta do.

**

back in my sweet freshie year, i got my very first last office on my very first clinical attachments. uncle died soon after he was admitted, and i did his admission, his feedings, his changing, his sponging before he died that is. while doing last office i swear i didnt feel awkward, sad, happy, remorse, whatever. i was blatant. i just did what i had to do and i aint complaining about it.

the second or was it third deceased patient i came across got me laughing real bad (also occured during my sweet freshie year). darn, i guffawed like a freak behind the cutains, beside the body- cause ain did something stupid. apparently, she took the parameters for the dead body. so stupid can?
and to make us look more like fools, patient's relative were outside mourning over the lost.

**

during my 2 weeks posting at KKH women's tower- my main objective was to witness an abortion. of course i wasnt crazy enough to state that in my journal and present it to joKoh. but deep within the recesses of my dark, morbid heart, i yearned to see what a gasping fetus looks like.
but too bad, i didnt get to see any. and still, i wonder why~

when i got to paeds ward, i couldnt help but visualised myself firing a bulletgun into the heads of pretty pampered little girls. i hate them can? i prefer little boys. little girls wail/scream/shout/banshee-fy for no apparent reason and it pisses me off.

dammit, im bonded to kkh. help?

**

im worried, i not even a staff nurse. i dont work full shifts just yet.
ben told me this before, "after working for so long, your heart will become stone sia"
gosh~ my heart is already stoned.

ineedhelp.

chinta

2008-03-23T16:39:00.005+08:00

:: bila aku jatuh cinta ::

NIDJI one of the greastest indo band after peterpan. they got that U2/Coldplay vibe to them and the vocalist just kickass.
i first fell in love with their songs sumwhere last year, during the fasting period. i think~ or was it 2 years ago?

they produced multiple english songs and one of the hits made it as a soundtrack for that lameshit drama, HEROES. hahahaha, cool kan?

but my all time favourite, tak lain tak bukan....

Nidji- Bila Aku Jatuh Cinta

wooaaahh~ siap dengan senikata!! boleh ikut karoke!

***

(translation)
When I'm falling in love
I hear a thousand angels of love sing
Echoing the world

When I'm falling in love
I see the sun
Will come to me
And hug me with love

When I'm falling in love
I see the moon
Will come to me
And accompany me

Through the coldness of a dream
Through the coldness of a dream
Whem I'm falling in love...

Falling in love...
With you.
Hug me
Kiss me
Darling...
Darling...

When I'm falling in love

setgo

2008-03-17T08:46:00.025+08:00

:: setgo sequel ::

uno.2.tres.

wenbin's virgin tour around Singapore's last farms.

when cityboy meets nature :))

cute la sey~

to the HAY DAIRIES GOAT FARM!

meet the bachelors

bachelor meets bachelorette

royiryan :)

wenbin jakon~

to the DRAGONFRUIT FARM!

the dragonfruit farm was awesome

a bee to flowers

green (purple) beans

"it's just dragonfruit jelly, wenbin!!"

pretty clouds, made our day

mat posing-posing di fish farm

the rain the green the serene

the KOI FARM!

the city boy with rich people fish

***

till next time :)

setgo||

2008-03-17T08:39:00.002+08:00

[editted due to messy messy layout]

:: set go ::

the week has been bad.

my beloved pom pom passed away peacefully on the 12 of march.
mune followed after the next day.
i failed my tp.
my results didnt meet my expectations.

i weeped and the sky weeped too.

had my traffic police test and got 28 points. 24 actually, uncle TP is poor at math but it didnt matter anyway, it's still a fail. true enough, i felt beyond devasted. i wanted to cry so hard but the sky did it for me. heh.

it's ok, i had wallowed in self-pity and did multiple ugly crys. my mood's on the up side now all thanks my attachment-mates, especially ben. it's not as if im diagnosed with cancer or lupus , i can always take that bloody tp again even if i have to wait painfully for 2 months.

***

pom pom will always have a special place in my heart, i knew that he wouldnt last. just had to provide him with palliative care and maximum zuli management before he left us.for almost a decade, pom pom had been sucha sweetheart- and he will always be.

***

attachments was fun. the best ward i've ever been to. to top that, i had awesome attachment buddies. baik r~ looking forward to 4 weeks of holidays but somehow, im already missing the ward

worked

2008-03-08T22:43:00.003+08:00

:: work for it ::

if i really want something, i'll work damn hard and pray damn hard for it.

the last time i wanted something badly was 3 years back.
i wanted awesome results for olevels.

the outcome wasnt that awesome, it was more of satisfactory.
but i was content. still am.

another time when i wanted some really badly was at my 15th.
it was to win this competition.

my team won. i won.

right now, the only bloody thing i want is to get my bloody license.
i ask for nothing else but that.
i would even give up my potential A grade for attachments and my future boyfriend just so i'll pass tp.

i just need everyone to remember me in your prayers. The rest it's up to me.

i'll just go do my ugly cry now. the period aint helping

know best

2008-03-03T21:11:00.003+08:00

:: know best ::

the weekends was short but happy :)

which is my hand make a guess, it aint that difficult yaw~

fix you

2008-03-01T00:21:00.009+08:00

:: fix you ::

my orchid plant has been bare for such a loooong time. but now, i see a pretty yellow orchid in full bloom. i think it's a sign of a good omen (i will pass my tp.. cheyyba ).

the weekends are here and im beyond happy. after 5 days, my olfactory nerve can finally take a break from all those crap i had inhaled.

the ward im posted to has awesome staff who are ever ready to teach and help. sometimes, we are torn between helping the ANs with junior work and trying out SNs procedures but they are understanding enough to know the situation that we face. most of the staff are fresh with their diplomas and i guess there's still that student-nurse in them.

i cant wait till attachments end. i shall work on getting a tighter body during the holidays ( macam real~) and feed my 3 cats till they get fat.

and maybe i should bring kurbit to meet roy iryan so that he'll feel guilty for running over a kitten.

YAY kawan-kawan!! YOK kita keluar hooray-hooray!! =D

call help

2008-02-27T21:51:00.003+08:00

:: call help ::

Kittens for adoption.

3 boys and 1 girl.

call or email me if you're keen.

they need a home. atikah cant keep all.

***

pom pom is getting better! he's getting comfortable with life.

the daily struggle to syringe down his antibiotics and the IV drip he was on did him good.

pom's morning routine- Eat, sleep, sun bathe, watch TV, eat and sleep until handsome or kurbit disturbs him. ok not much of a routine but still, my grandfather cat is getting better :)

Plus, pom pom receives special treatment. he is the only cat in the household who is allowed to sleep on my parents bed. kurbit and handsome cant even enter their room.

for the past few days, i brought along handsome to send and fetch mak from work ( in ambok's car that is~). he's so selengeh can, but cute! i love :) i just wanna get him used to travelling with the family so next time he can tag along.

handsome gets lotsa praises and attention from neighbours whenever we go downstairs for him to explore-explore. heee, handsome tak kembang aku pulak yang terkembang.

i love to sink my face into his bulu and pull his ears and hug him tight. unfortunately, handsome's not the affectionate type. half of the time i get bitten in the head.

right now, handsome is watching TV.

kurbit is the youngest in the family. she's barely 3 months but she shits a BOM. she eats handsome's and pom pom's food even though she has her own. any sort of moving objects are her play toys, she pounces on it like crazy. she goes extra crazy when she sees her own reflection.

i think she's shitting right now. she's so damn boncet, her stomach is like a soccer ball or something~

i have no life, i keep talking bout my cats... sheesh!

animals dont lie

2008-02-24T17:59:00.009+08:00

:: animals dont lie ::

ambok's friend just lost his dog. he died of heart attack.

a few months back, i would have laughed my butt off upon hearing the news. dogs and heart attacks just didnt go. the narrow-minded me only associated heart attacks with humans- fat obese pampered spoilt humans. things are different now, i had come to realise that animals too suffer, like humans.

i got to know yesterday,the huge chow chow dog at the pet station where i usually buy handsome's and kurbit's snappy tom has arthritis. just like pom pom, he has to be on continuos iv therapy but he's worst off- he cant stand cause it'll hurt him too much.

about a month ago handsome had a huge abscess on his neck. the same fate as my ssdc friend, but my friend's abscess was at the leg. and now, the grandfather cat pom pom has kidney failure. macam orang pulak animals ni semua~

animals and humans, what's so different between us? we lie and betray, animals dont.

i think there should be some kinda MOH for animals. the spca can only do that much. the government should set aside a sum of money speacially for animal health- for the strays and those families within financial issues.

we should treat everyone and every animal equally, kan?

oh ya, fuck those who abandon their pets.
and double fuck those who abuse their pets or any animal.

the world is coming to an end.
quick! let us all repent.

miao

2008-02-23T15:00:00.003+08:00

:: dont be frighten ::

there's always room for one more.

picture was taken just 2 weeks ago. pom pom has lost almost 7kg since then.

our grandfather cat is ill. he was diagnosed with kidney failure and oral ulcer.

Pom pom has been with ambok for 8 years as the charm at the pasar.

it's just the family's duty to bring him home.

i cant turn him down, he grew up with me.

bruce

2008-02-16T19:43:00.006+08:00

:: bulus ::

stupid idiot bruce turns 19.
his malay name is BULUS, meaning- hair down there and everwhere expect the head.

cause hair on the head is called rambut.

happy birthday BULUS. i had to mogok so we'll celebrate in time to come ya?

i wish you longer and slimmer fingers
you becoming less ugly
bigger and shinier eyees
away with your matrep hair

and you convert become muslim la.

c'mmon man, give up your babi- you can do it!

and happy birthday to old friend Asri.

as far as i can remember, i've known you since like forever.

HAHAHA.

but we dont meet no more coz you action. hmph!

search

2008-02-10T20:44:00.000+08:00

:: search ::

Andai dipisah

Laut dan pantai

Musnahlah ilham

Hilang pedoman

Andai dipisah

Cahaya dan bulan

Gelap gelita

Punah asmara

-search

fantasia bulan madu balada ROCK la babe.
it's an awesome composition,

senikata yang kental

irama yang lentuk

suara yang serak.

Amy Search merupakan si tua yang tidak sedar diri.
bila kan dia bertaubat? hahaha
whatever la eh, call me kental if you wanna

coz to me, amy tetap beeeessssttt.

rempit la sey

2008-02-08T13:07:00.000+08:00

:: rempit la sey ::

it was chinese new year and mak got her first road accident.

she was rushed to cgh thereafter.

good thing she got only lacerations.

poor sparky is at some tp place- disfigured and all.

hurhur~

rempit lagi... kan dah accident.

exams!!

ganteng

2008-02-05T21:14:00.000+08:00

:: handsome ::

Handsome is cute.

Zuli is hot.

And exams are around the corner.

HAHAHA

wani

2008-02-03T20:42:00.000+08:00

:: wani ::

si merah kat tepi tu tumpang glamour.

the BFF turned 19 yesterday. your humble celebration was lovely.

we get chubbier as we age- and why so?

cause we are happy :)

to many many happy years ahead.

ily, gf.

bara

2008-01-29T18:56:00.001+08:00

:: killsfasterthancancer ::

leukaemia

cervical cancer

and now breast cancer.

it's in our blood. i guess it's in my blood too.

only time will tell.

work

2008-01-24T20:53:00.000+08:00

:: pengangguan ::

telinga disumbati oleh sepasang earpiece lalu aku menyanyi..

yana: betapa hebatnya kita membeli isu terkini.
fakir miskin teperdaya, orang kaya semakin kaya...
ambok: orang kaya tak sembahyang~

yana: bertahun-tahun akan kita merasai sensara,
peperangan tak sudah
cari harta mengambil tanah....

yana: walau sekarang kita hidup sudah mudah,
tak cukup tamak harta, cari makan mereka kata.
ambok: sebab tak sembahyang~

yana(dengan penuh perasaan): ingat kita takoooot. kuat mengaroooot. kita tunjukkan,
RAKYAT KE-DE-PAN!
ambok: tak sem-bah-yang~!!

yana: tukar cara, kita fikir baru hapus KORUPSI!!
tukar cara, kita fikir baru hapus KO-RUP-SI!!
ambok: SEM-BAH-YANG!!

yana: diam la ambok, yana kan tengah feeling ni.

ambok: nyanyi-nyanyi gini aje buat ape. kalau tak sholat ape guna?

suara yang terpendam di benak kalbu berbisik: eh, alamak.. betul jugak cakap bapak aku ni.

****

i was totally feeling onebuckshort. singing till my alveoli almost collapsed.

my ambok just had to spoil the feeling.

catfight

2008-01-22T23:21:00.000+08:00

:: cat fight ::

i just had a mean struggle with handsome. ambok and i had to pin him down real hard in order to remove his paw bandage which was causing his hind paw to swell. naughty handsome refused to let us touch his paws, so we had to use force. and he bit my innerthighs.

*paw bandage was used to prevent handsome from scratching his stitches.

now handsome wont even come close to me. i think he's angry. i gotta think of ways to pacify him.
nehmind la, i'll just sleep on the floor tonight. handsome can have my bed. sayang handsome.. jangan marah-marah kay!

taggies
diana- helloyou:) kitty cats are adorable. but not handsome. handsome's just plain handsome. heh!
mariam- wheres you babe. meet up soon?!
pony- heee. im sure they'll be good friends. oh! handsome said miao!
mai- of course i rmb you! i'll link u up real soon, prettyhead
bernie- MIAO!!
jackie- u can marry handsome? =D

pretty handsome

2008-01-17T00:02:00.000+08:00

:: pretty handsome ::

meet handsome expensive, my miao. i got him 5 days ago.
he was affectionatelty named after paula's friendster friend=D

he doesnt look handsome at all in the picture but i swear when i first found him *quote siva "on the floor" he was really good-looking. blues eyes and sharp features.

handsome is sick. he got a HUGE abscess on his neck with pus in it. the second brought him to the vet. apparently, handsome has an infection under the skin- it may be due to a fight.

stupid vet overchaged us. consultation fee was $37+ dollars. 0.o

he'll be going for surgery tomorrow to have the pus removed and have his balls cut.
pre-op care: handsome is on NBM. cute kan?!!
i have no idea how to chech his vitals.
and i guess all his lab findings are normal.

tomorrow after surgery, he'll be on metacam, amoxicillin and i have to do dressing bd with chlohexidine.

he's in so much pain. poor handsome has lost his handsome-ness. now he cant clean himself properly coz of the elizabethan collar (the thingy around his neck to stop him from licking his wound). he smells like pus la. he is so terseksa.

picture was taken yesterday. he was in so much pain he slept funny. i got so worried last night, i didnt sleep well. futhermore, that doreamon pillow handsome's on is mine- he took it from me.

handsome is all grumpy and angry. i cant wait till he recovers and get really fat and handsome.

let us all pray for a successful surgery and a speedy recovery for handsome.

mid Jan

2008-01-14T00:11:00.000+08:00

:: mid Jan ::

the cutest thing i had seen all week:)

***

week had been hectic, im pulling through- with eyebags and whatnots.

i need my depp stat.

Muharram

2008-01-09T22:40:00.000+08:00

:: awal Muharram ::

tomorrow, it's the start of a new year according to the Islamic calender. i totally had no idea till mak spoke about it this morning. that's how bad of a muslimah i am- and i aint proud of it.

i watched pursuit of happyness right after i got back from school. the reality of the story moved me to tears. to see a father cry, makes me wanna cry too.
i really cant watch men cry, especially fathers. i always see fathers as the protector, the strong figure who shelters the family from pain and uglys. when a father cries, the wall crumbles and the loved ones are susceptible to hurt.

my late grandfather passed away 2 years ago, i didnt cry coz i was mourning his death, i cried because my father cried.
during my paediatrics posting at kkh, i had to attend to baby yasin. he was in a hell lot of pain and us nurses struggled to clean his wound. his mummy wasnt there, she was praying so only the daddy was there. yasin wailed and kicked and created tension behind those green curtains. daddy tried really hard to calm yasin but no avail. and there i saw daddy cry.

on this last day of the Muslim year i pray to God-
please lighten the burden of all sincere daddys in this world. bless them with happyness and cleanse their souls with Your wonders. Amin.

melawan

2008-01-05T00:40:00.000+08:00

:: hari yang cerah untuk jiwa yang sepi ::

i felt an ache in my heart when sheila on 7 stopped making music.

i felt a stronger pain when chrisye passed away.

i teared a river when andika and indra left peterpan.

and i long for anggun to return.

the best doesn't last. everything has an expiry date.

enjoy while it last.

2007

2007-12-31T10:09:00.000+08:00

:: last of 2007 ::

im 10kg heavier.

my hair is staright and boring.

i have yet to pass riding school.

but im happy :)

i even went to sentosa with my chicas. my first time on a sentosa express. of course im happy :)

mak

2007-12-05T22:17:00.000+08:00

:: hee ::

the mak turns 38 today. she shares the same birthday as iman and siva:)

we went out to grow fat and we returned home happy!

hee :)

poseur

2007-12-03T11:24:00.000+08:00

:: poseur ::

dressed in my traditional attire, i glided up to stage only to face an audience who expects me to rap my (paula's actually) love poem which was poorly prepared in an sms form. it was a hiphop scene and i was lost.

the emcee provoked, "name 5 rappers besides eninem, jay-Z, blah blah.."
"dammit!"

im a new face who will never appear ever again. ouh! let me get drunk and fall into the singapore river along with all the punks paula and i made fun of. the embarrassment started to set in only after i was done with my performance. the skin i have, had grown an inch thicker.

but that aside. im sorry anis for the disappointment. elaitingpaula for the futile effort. im really sorry.

my very first set was a solo thing at a hiphop scene. baik r... i admit, im a HIPHOP POSEUR. i'll get rid off myself. respect to those who were good but hiphop aint my thing, i feel that it lacks a certain soul.

i shall think of this incident to distract myself from pain whenever my monthly bleeds come by. hiphop is dead? well, it's up to the masses to decide.

kembali

2007-12-01T10:48:00.000+08:00

:: kembali ::

Semua perasaanku dengan dirinya, dia yang kucinta

ku ingin kembali

tanpa resah hati dari semua tanya.

tak akan kupendam lagi

cinta ini dari semua yang menyangka
-anggun, kembali

anggun is my new love. she was the bomb back in the early 90s but back then, i was barely 5. i can somehow remember kembali and i used to think she made herself sound like a guy. her powerful vocals make my hair stand, not even beyonce can make my hair stand as rigid and straight.

anggun's one hot indon chick.
she comes after peterpan and nirvana on my list. heh :)

dammit

2007-11-24T21:47:00.000+08:00

:: dammit ::

wokay! common tests start on monday and what the hell am i doing here blogging? i just feel like it. it's exceptionally weird to why im so attracted to the blogger page everytime i got something way more important to do. my blog feeling just ignites whenever tests/exams are inching in.

prac 6.2 just now was the ever most frustrating practical lesson ever. i think it was the stupid bike i got. it kept stalling like crazy- my biting point and all were fine, it was just the freaking bike. or maybe it was just me.

the sun was blistering and i could see my $40,000 zit on my left cheeck pulsating as i struggling along the amk roads. damn that son of a bitch bike. the light that indicated the signal thingy wasnt working AND the rear brakes were faulty.
sheesh, i did tell the instructor with the butterfly rash (i think he got SLE or something) but he said it was ok and just carry on.

the traffic was trecherous!! jack found it smooth though, weird eyy? buses, taxis and all those nonsensical drivers were horrendously kiasu. urgh! especially taxis, there was this one taxi which didnt allow me to change lane. i signalled like WAYY before hand BUT he sped and was dangerously tailgating me. there was this other bus- he signalled left BUT he made a drastic turn to the right. i was apalled beyond words but cool must maintain~
that stupid rubbish bike did more harm. it sounds awful and the seat hurts my crotch.

what a day. haha, i should be studying. instead, i endangered my precious life by going on the road with that puny amount of experience i got at the back of my hand. chehh

im done with ns1 and pharmaco. revision should be dandy with the pretty notes i had prepared. i should continue studying and stop pretending like i know everything.
sharks, i HATE myself for fooling around and not studying.

young

2007-11-17T12:05:00.000+08:00

:: young ::

where do i see us down the road... hmmm

at el-sheikh

evetually,we will all be busy with work shifts and our day offs will probably never clash. but deep inside, i know that on special occasions, a few of us will buy MC just so that we can reunite and relive our lightyears.

madness GFs

friends learn to love what they hate about each other. the perfect friends come complete with the ugly and the good side. i learnt to embrace their ugly sides so that they can accept mine.

our cannot make it jump- except for ezzie that is~

to fyza, ana, ain and ezzie. i know you know what i dont like about you. but dont stop there, you'll never be you if you stopping doing what i hate. coz i love you girls for who you are. really really.

***

im getting way old, so are my friends. 5 years of friendship yaw~
these are friends who are always in my heart. we went through sjab shit together-
shit that bonds.

it was all LoVE.

***

we are young and careless.
mistakes are inevitable but we learn as we grow.
and im glad i learn with beautiful friends.

friends who fit me well are those who dont mind my nonsense and join in.

friends i love, fall in love.

while some gets constipated~ still, i love.

my weekend has been awesome so far.
i dont get to be 18 forever. so allow me space to discover and rejoice.
give me time to spend with you before i get sucked into the working world.

girly

2007-11-15T17:07:00.000+08:00

:: girly ::

saturday was well spent with girlfriends yan and mary. it was a happy, girly occasion. we trotted around at vivo, stopping upon seeing anything glimmering and pretty. shoes drove mary crazy and rings had become yan's new love.
we oughta shop more frequently yea?! flea markets will be our next rendevous.

sitting down and soaking in was funnest part of it all. true enough, i get to see them almost everyday in school but seldom do i get to catch up and just talk. soon after, work shall suck us dry and the events of us meeting willl be greatly depleted. im just freaking thankful for all the meet ups we had- no matter how small or insignificant if may appear to be.

girls are girls. we are like teabags, you'll never know how tough we are until you put us in hot water. even in undesirable cirsumstances, we let off a taste that etches in the mind.

i love you yan and mary.

more outings soon k!

the sheesha virgin.
we manged to unvirginify her by introducing that sheesha nozzle into her mouth. =D

my elegant lady. she made men turn and look at her. MEN mind you, not guys.
you power r babe... gua respect.

and i just wanted to have fun.
steamy nohh~? macam ana..

***

paula asked about the criteria and i wondered.
clean ears and that baby's scent - yup! that gotta be the primary criteria. i want a prettyface and i wanna be the handsome one between us.

iamqueen

2007-11-09T00:38:00.000+08:00

:: iamqueen ::

go away darling, go away....

oh, the bittersweet kiss that can never be felt

or into your arms that i can never fall.

long have i clasped in my secret soul,

a feeling so strong, i cant control

for you're the one i yearn for- deep.

the truth non shall ever know.

for i am stupid if your

name was ever told.

pretence is what i call friend.

so shush, my fake lover

in bed you will be kept.

so go away darling, go away.

never return,

leave me to cure the lacerated heart.

****

wahahaha~ this is moo moo, my mentel friend

eats

2007-11-04T23:34:00.000+08:00

:: eats ::

today and yesterday was all eats.

free food, how can i refuse free food?

haven't been hitting the gym or the running shoes since forever.

cant really blame no one, im just plain lazy. darnit!

told ya im handsome. si belakang tumpang glamour jek, heh.

chase

2007-11-01T00:18:00.000+08:00

:: chase ::

i got trannie potential with the pink lipstick and the white powder.

trannies are hot if you get what i mean.

***

satu detik lalu, dua hati terbang tinggi.
lihat indahnya dunia, membuat hati terbelah

dan bawaku ke sana, dunia fatamorgana.
termanja-manja oleh rasa
dan ku terbawa terbang tinggi oleh suasana

dan kau menawarkan, rasa cinta dalam hati.

utterly

2007-10-22T21:07:00.000+08:00

:: utterly ::

the wife of my uncle just passed away. i only met her once a year but i know she was a nice woman and a good mom. she left her children and her life this morning.
Death reminds us of God and that all shall return to Him.

i dont ever want to know what it'll be like to lose a mother. if my mak goes, i'll go along with her and so will ambok and the rest of my siblings.

Al-Fateha.

teman

2007-10-22T01:38:00.000+08:00

:: teman ::

we grow up too fast.

asri and bruce not in picture- but you guys are in my heart.

donadona

2007-10-19T20:55:00.000+08:00

:: donadona ::

i saw this really, really pretty beige dress at compass point.
the subtle v.neck that plunges revealing a little of the skin. the playful length that shows much of the calves. the poised cut that hugs the body perfect. the soft ribbon that tightens at the back.
it looks all that feminine on the manequin. so i decided to try it on!

hell i looked porno. ugly sia (-_-")

im sorry.
i slept with you.
when you were drunk.

eid moomoo

2007-10-15T21:54:00.000+08:00

:: eid moomoo ::

hari raya,
riang gembira
bersuka ria
bersama keluarga...

cheh, ku berpantun. anyway, hari raya is famlay love. i got to reunite with relatives i seldom meet. my cousins breed fast, i now have uncountable number of nieces and nephews. very very cute and very very annoying.

batrisyia- one of my manymany neices.

my auntys and uncles commented, "waa, dah besar yana. you look very adult."
i dont know whether to take that as an insult or a compliment but since its hari raya, a time for forgiving, i shall dismiss the statement as a negative feedback. adult looking eyy- i must look pretty dorky past years.

an uncle of mine didnt recognise me and so he asked, "siape ni?"
i replied, "yana la, anak jenol:)"
"ooh.. big girl now,you look very slim eh?!"
WEEeeeeEEE~~!!! *jumps around di dalam hati. slim seyy...i seldom get that.

slim tak? slim? slim??

lebaran spells h.a.p.p.y
saynag sokmo semua, maaf zahir dan batin.

ambok and iya on mak's spark. action~

the daughters and mother bear =p

the cousin who's also an np missy :)

andin

2007-10-10T17:48:00.000+08:00

:: andin ::

my rtt is supposedly tomorrow but my itchy fingers did me harm by postponing it to 19oct instead. dont ask why- i did it out of stupidity. and coz of that, im onhold and cant proceed for prac6. *TEAR MY SCALP!! by the time im due for road training, i'll forget how to ride and be forced to degrade to prac1.

NOOOOO!!!

on a brighter note, i got until 18oct to study for the rtt.

this morn, i went to SSDC to help a friend with his ttt- poor dude failed like 9 times before he passed just now. ouh! i saw me eyecandy*winks. i was checking him out crazy. i even got his name by straining my eyes real hard at the kiosk screen as he booked his next prac lesson and yay! he's at prac4 already:) .but *sadded he never strike a convo with me maybe coz of ego.

i had come to realise that guys, most often, will never speak to a girl who is a few lessons ahead of them. they will only talk to girls who just started, are in the same prac level as them or are super hot. this is so so true, all my male ssdc-mates are either ahead of me or the same level as me.

WHATEVER!!!

ego ego ego aint getting 'em nowhere. girls on the other hand are totally different. somehow, girls just manage to click despite of prac levels. i got girl friends who are now in prac3&4, we talk- and i made friends with girls who are way ahead of me.

crap. maybe by the time im due for prac6, me eyecandy will be in the same lesson as me. eh?! double crap (-_-") he hasnt taken his rtt. i bet his is on the 22nd or maybe next month. well, i can just hope and im making myself appear ver ver desperate.
*but he cuuuute dan hot.

***

anyway, i think johnny depp is sex.

shiiaat! im fasting =X

atmosfera

2007-10-07T22:43:00.000+08:00

:: melawan dunia ::

kita memahami yang sesungguhnya
dan tak harus menjelaskan semua,

tanpa pedulikan kata mereka,
kita berjalan melawan dunia.

perempuan dua ekor yang sentiasa ada bila aku heartbroken atau berfeeling-feeling~ chehh*

thank you eh korang :D

lady iron

2007-10-03T23:40:00.000+08:00

:: lady iron ::

for the rain it rain'th everyday

i did some spring cleaning yesterday, preparation for hari raya paa~

i realised i got lotsa lotsa e.literature notes from 2005. i dont know why i didnt throw them away right after olvls. well, i guess i got this kinda unexplainable attachment to those notes. i spent 2 freaking months with it k- hehe, to the extent of placing them under my pillow as i slept.

literature in english was fcuking difficult la, (summore my angmoh not so good) but with time and commitment, i learnt to love. it's amazing what kinda meaning a poem or a prose contain. understanding character was also another component of e.lit i love.

i barely passed my e.lit back in sec3 but scored a pretty distinction for O. thanks to my miss chan:)

JC e.literature was awesome too (unlikeH2 econs and H2 chem). most often, i left the lecture hall feeling like whoa! words are such powerful weapons, a mode for feelings and emotions.

but jc sucks, so i left! poly baru ada baeek~

***

try appreciating this, its just about thistles though-

Thistles

Against the rubber tongues of cows and the hoeing hands of men

Thistles spike the summer air

Or crackle open under a blue-black pressure

Every one a revengeful burst

Of resurrection, a grasped fistful

Of splintered weapons and Icelandic frost thrust up

From underground stain of decayed Viking.

They are like pale hair and the gutturals of dialects.

Every one manages a plum of blood.

Then they grow grey, like men.

Mown down, it is a feud. Their sons appear,

Stiff with weapons, fighting back over the same ground.

-i have no idea who wrote this, bleah

al-Arab

2007-09-27T22:22:00.000+08:00

:: al- dunno what zaq ::

for now, no one can be my pillion rider unless you wish to die early. i almost killed my pillion rider who unfortunately was the instructor. it sucks being the only girl.. grrr~
the session was all laughs and DANGER.

met my pretty gfs (except for ain who tak semena-mena semangat hockey) after that to buka together and my oh my.. i had tonnes of fun :)

we trottered arab street in search for a place to eat but alas! we ended up at bugis banquet. bought this and that and couldnt really finish everything. we were even tempted to buy kebab, fat-free chendol *yea rite* , kathirah drink, chee kuey dan macam-macam lagi!

look! bugis banquet!

we went to suck peach&cherry later in the night

it made ana steamy~

see what i mean?

all thanks to fyzaanaezzie for making my day :D
next time we sedut apples&strawberry pula ya!

LOVELOVE!

ramadhan

2007-09-23T21:23:00.000+08:00

// ramadhan //

the month of Ramadhan comes only once every year. it is a time Muslims cleanse their souls and bring themselves closer to Allah. not only do we abstain ourselves from food and drinks,

we shut our eyes from all things ugly
and close our ears to all things nasty.
we cut our tongues from uttering foul
and numb our touch to all that's not allowed.

easier said than done.

Porphyria's Lover

2007-09-21T22:26:00.000+08:00

// Porphyria's Lover //

Porphyria's lover,

its a must read.

ravenhead

2007-09-18T23:23:00.000+08:00

// sneaky sound system //

yesterday .was hairday for us.
the stylist chopped off my 1yr old curls and made my hair uber straight.

tik&ku

on the other hand, tik got soft curls and fiq got a mat hairdo.

today .after a whole day of work and after shampoo, the straightness starts to wear off. the hair now looks confused, just like before.
ouh whatever.. at least i didnt turn out looking like bruce :p

damn the hair...
sometimes i feel like i can pull off being a bald bitch.
nahh, maybe not now.

paeds

2007-09-16T12:20:00.000+08:00

// boys and girls //

it's only in paeds ward i can ask kisses from boys-

sweet honeydew kisses or wet smack kisses.

and pretty girls dont get me envious

or play bitch on me.

a week at 56 made me dream of brufen last night.

gavin too :)

baby pui pui is almost 3 months old now. cute

missy

2007-09-11T18:36:00.000+08:00

// missy ah missy //

shiat~ im missing IMH. it's a hell lot funner at IMH. the cases are like those you see in thriller drama series. 2 weeks spent there and i now know mahjong. you can call me up to be your kaki.

CI was fucking irritating but patients there never failed to unfuck my fucked mood after fucktalk with CI.

well, not all patients were pleasant, some patients turned me OFF.

patient 1 kept singing hokkien songs, voice almost perforated my eardrums.
"Mr C!! Shut up la, my head pain you know"
"You think you can sing better, come la challenge la"
and we did, i won.

patient 2. only one word to descirbe him- revolting.
"sayang, you put on lipgloss isit? your lips like inviting la"
*rolled eyes, "hello excuse me! i have a boyfriend! AND you cant talk to us nurses that way."

patient 3 followed me wherever i went.
"zuli, zuli..." , "zuli, zuli..."
its kinda irritating when there's someone tagging behind and repeating your name.
plus, he smeared shit all over his bed.

the other patients were just awesome no matter how manic or aggressive or OCD or schizophrenic or bipolar they get.
it was fun bringing them back to reality. real fun :)

ouh! and according to one patient, the car which best represent me is a

BAVARIAN MOTORWORKS 7SERIES AUTOMOBILE

not bad eyy? ahahahaha!!

miao

2007-09-08T18:47:00.001+08:00

// cats say mew //

. look at how adorably ugly (cute) my cousins are

and say hello to mak:)

picnic was great.
family made it AWESOME

and prac was good:D

TO PAUL AND TUNNIE. HAVE GREAT FUN AT BANGKOK.
i will miss you:')

amore

2007-09-01T21:51:00.000+08:00

// women's day out //

HELLO!!

golly, i feel so happy today. i exercised! like finally~
i went for women's day out with 5 guys.
women's day out? guys? contradicting? totally..

thanks to fiqfizkudinsf&immanuel
nahh, they didnt really see me jump around.
they were registering for this gokart thingy while i was erhem... exercising.

goodie bag is preeeeetty.
and ouh! arcade was fun, i guess..

namun, saya masih terharu karna kalian sudi temani saya ke sana.
terharu hingga menitis air mata. chehh.. and i know you guys are happy!

***

i miss my BFFs :'(

mental park

2007-08-31T23:00:00.000+08:00

// loving hearts, beautiful minds //

i see convulse, cradling of businessmen who killed themselves,

of those who slowed their minds with weed

and planted all around their seed.

they be dropped into the black ocean

minds corrupted and soul poisoned.

pretty moon will watch from far

as a bald man with a tie and diapers

get swallowed by the darkness-

and thus be forgotten.

sweet16

2007-08-29T21:48:00.000+08:00

// sixteen //

the second turns 16 today:)

she will

. fall asleep while im talking

. wear all my clothes

. listen to my music

. steal my style

.eat my kinder bueno

. sleep on my bed

. use my hair serum

. finish up my hair conditioner
. put her friends before me

and i will go to second base with her boyfriend before she can even get to first. heee~

kakak yana loves you, inah... *kisskiss

intan

2007-08-25T17:46:00.000+08:00

//intan//

tagged by miss intan sari aka miss pretty hair.

i gotta list any 10 facts or silly things about me. kinda like what i did before~
but im bored, so i'll do it again.
here goes...

one. i yearn for a pair of purple jeans. almost everyone's into red skinnys but im unique:)

two. i dont eat nasi lemak with sambal. i dont like spicy~

three. i suck when im on a bike -_-

four. no one is allowed on my bed. not my ma, not my siblings... only me.

five. right now, impecto is on radio and my ma's dancing. ohgawd

six. i wear a sarung when im at home. very seldom do i wear shorts or pants.

seven. i wanna go womad but i got no moneeeey :(

eight. im gonna attend a 5 hr aerobics marathon next week. help!!

nine. i like blue whales

ten. i wore a tudung just now to melawat... wanna see? nyehaha!

do me

2007-08-24T20:59:00.001+08:00

// shuddup or your boyfriend's dead //

girlfriends are love.
exams were relatively smooth.
so celebrations are a must!!

we went out after paper to posing-posing heh,
laugh till our tummies hurt,
catch rush hour 3
and just soak in.

ouh and happy 18th to ezzie dearest:)
(2nd from right)

***

the lure of giving up is tempting and sweet.
and it doesnt help when you're the only girl.
its ok, semangat mesti ada.
tapi sampai kapan lagi semangat akan semarak?

bebas

2007-08-21T12:42:00.000+08:00

//bebas yaw~//

Jangan pegang langkahku

Kuingin bergerak

Jangan genggam tanganku

Biarkan terbuka

Hingga waktu tak terkira

Sampai hati tak bergetar

Bebas kemanapun takkan terluka

Terserah ini aku takkan terluka.

a strong woman i am,

i seek freedom to do great wonders.

and wherever i go,

i will never get hurt.

brown eyes

2007-08-17T23:49:00.000+08:00

// brown eyed baby //

I'll bring you closer baby
Sinking into your brown eyes

Allow me to touch you there baby
And you can touch me here

Brown eyes, i see
You cut deep baby

Lets play tar and gasoline
Get far away from clean baby

But I know our filthy hand can wash one another's
And not one speck will remain

Careful baby i may slip
Catch me when i do baby.

*fark, i hate myself for not studying*

42nd

2007-08-10T18:51:00.000+08:00

// 42nd //

98.12% of girls feel this way most of the time.
a perfect body doesnt give you the perfect feel.

my butt's too big.
i hate my lovehandles.
my tummy makes me ugly.
i hate my scars.
urgh!

sounds familiar? hell yes..

i am fat at a few areas but everywhere else, im sexy.
and i got the perfect feel. you should see yourself the same.

imperfections make one perfect. agree?

btw, happy national day y'all :)

i feel

2007-08-07T12:14:00.000+08:00

// ikut rentak //

the last session of yoga made me perspire. falling on my face was what i did best.

lactic acid built up in my muscles causing my joints to weaken and give way.

i woke up the next morning with the feeling like i had no arms, just fingers.

im like weak. totally.

yet i went for baybeats with paula and elai.

and had the time of my life.

revisited the same place the next night with jackie and ez joining us.

elai fell and knocked out. glad she's better now.

if i was in her shoes, i think my dad would have forced the tudung on me right away.

the effects of yoga + baybeats = bigger eyes?

***

was in the train yesterday, on my way to meet mak at yio chu kang.

a girl was throwing tantrums. she was 5 i guess and was next to me.

she insisted that her mom should stand and not sit.
she kicked and spat and slapped her mom. the woman gave in to the brat.

i couldnt control my angst no longer and shouted at the girl to stop.

fuck.

everyone in the carriage looked at me funny... mixed emotions.

i teared and alighted at the next station.

not eveyone's born lucky. shut the fuck up and appreacite what you have.
i may not be in the same plight as the children of asia. but i feel.

so shut the fuck up wont ya?
just shut it

august

2007-08-04T10:47:00.000+08:00

// gusto! //

~his hair got lotsa body and his body got lotsa hair~

one. i take my breakfast on-the-go cause im always late for class. i dont like to chew in the lift especially with people around. i think i chew and swallow noisy.

two. my bellybutton is rare. haha! ok, its bigger than the usual ones you see. bigger navels are good cause it indicates a healthy, properous life.

three. my specs are pink. soft, subtle pink. a gentle hue that i fell in love with. well, there's still that 5yr old kid in me. *PINK?! sheesh zuli!*

unlikely?

four. i met ks last thursday on bus 136. ouh chomel! my heart went flutterflutterflutter. atikah said, "si slenge tu pun ko boleh tersyiok. lupekan die la.." - i agree with tik:)

five. i turned 18 last sunday. thankyou tikfiqsisbrucemooericwawankudintunyanpaulmaryfyzaainana for celebarting and rejoicing. sayang kamu semua manymany.

six. im gonna be working in two years time. let me do stupid nonsencical crap now before im forced to be the perfect adult society expects of me.

***

anggun

2007-07-29T01:00:00.000+08:00

// anggun //

Mungkin sayang yang ku rasakan
tetapi aku melangkah, melupakanmu.

Perlahan mimpi terasa mengganggu,
kucoba untuk terus menjauh.

Tidak ingin aku ada sayang padamu.
karna ianya hanya luka bagiku

Perlahan hatiku terbelenggu,
kucoba untuk lanjutkan hidup.

Hingga waktu tak terkira,
sampai hati tak berdetak.

Mengharapkan hujan
larutkan nyanyian malamku.
Akan kah ku rasa?

kan ku terdiam dibalik hujan...

peak of it

2007-07-23T23:19:00.000+08:00

// peak of it //

life is a rollercoaster
just gotta ride it.
-ronan keating

im reaching the peak. its hard.. but im glad im doing it with them:)

when i fall, i'll accelerate at the greatest speed with rushing adrenaline.
stop me and you'll die.

haiz.. sempat aku update blog ey??

qiss

2007-07-20T23:26:00.000+08:00

// baby it's fact! //

guess what, someone jumped off the block yesterday morning. my sister saw his feet under the police tent.

danngg!! i was still asleep when he fell, when the police came and cleared the body.

should had volunteered to send sis to sch that morn so i could take a glimpse of the hoo-haa.

oooooo~ kinda exciting ey, knowing that someone actually died at the spot where i pass everyday of my life. exciting~~

***

yoga on friday was ouch! the twist, the turn,
the put-your-hand-into-the-hole-and-find-the-other-hand. GAWD!!

my latissimus dorsi are aching. but the session was shiok~

kan paula kan? we are on our way to slip into an XS size tee.

***

hahahahaha!! well anyway, i went to binge at sakura last thursday with fyza's class.
it was awesome! i had good food, great company and excellent convo with my 3 gfs and the class.

my gawd~i tummy buldged like i was 5 months pregnant after the spread. you should have seen my plate of sushis, it was 4 times more than fyza's.

look!! fyza's 5 pieces of sushi. the one you see at the back is mine plate of sushis:)

ana&bingbing stealing ain's anugerah pose.

ain&me

ana had more funny pictures which i took of her candid. she deleted them ALL.

you should have seen the pictures man, soo cute!!

the happy class and me, the guest of honour... cheyy cheyy...

happy people with happy tummies :)

***

uncover

2007-07-14T14:49:00.000+08:00

// sebenarnya //

hehe~ you think this is ugly? you havent seen nothing!!

crapface. the 2nd will always wanna look like the first, ugly and all...

ouh btw!! CPN fotos are up;)
hover HERE!!

hoorah

2007-07-13T00:59:00.000+08:00

// teman lama //

an old friend spoke to me last night about well you guessed it... old times. he told me im his best female friend despite of not meeting for nearly 4 bloody years. he said that im the only girl he feels comfortable talking to and sharing with- till now. gosh, it warmed me inside and i turned emo.

he taled that i spat on him several times because he refused to sign my corny autograph book and wrote cusses instead. and according to him, we spat on each other after our verbal fight. somehow he claimed that i told the teacher and her scoldings made him wana cry.
hohoho~! i totally dont remember that incident but he does.

i used to snatch his bag when i got all fury and burried it in the dirt. like really~ in return he would grab my bag and start stomping on it, not bothering about what might be inside.

but we shared good times too. two years of having him beside me was somewhat special now that im looking back. the thing we loved doing most was simply soaking ourselves in each other's world while the teacher writes at the front.

we were only 12:)

tag replies

bernie- kamu means you. it's malay :)

zira- hugg kamu back* save the earth ok ;)

paula- it was manageable *siGh~~

wenbin- ohmydear... i believe that one day, earth will crash along with the sun and the stars and all the other planets. no new organisms will live coz she'll not be reborn. i believe in afterlife. earth is a temporary home which God gave. we destroyed it and God's not gonna replace with a new one.

morning

2007-07-08T03:16:00.000+08:00

// wee morn //

3am sharing. spat my dirt and my ugly.

and on that, i feel whole.

ciggies and coffee dont always work-

what you need is a listening ear

and be an ear in return.

thank you, kamu:)

small small na competing in 5hrs.

you go girls. make me proud.

life

2007-07-05T21:15:00.000+08:00

// knife-to-skin //

a very long time ago, Allah swt decreed to create man.

He made man to be the best of all his creations. He breathed into man emotions, touched into man intelligence and moulded in perfection.

Allah told earth that He would place man on her. she knew man would bring about destruction, violence, hurt- so she refused. But Allah told earth that He knows better than she would ever do. thus, adam and hawa were sent down to earth. soon enough, almost every inch of her was infested with man.

Earth was right. she allowed man to dwell on her and live off her literally but they robbed her off her beauty. they suffocated her and left her dry. she would have easily killed them all but Allah said no. Earth learnt to carry on with the pain accepting the fact that man would always take without return.

but one day, she will decide to orbit the other direction.

she shall regurgitate whatever man had tried to violate within her.

one day, she shall fall from the strings of Allah and die together with all the things living on her.

earth is dying. she really is.

cinta cpn

2007-06-30T18:14:00.000+08:00

// 2D1N//

Camp at pulau ubin was refreshing :) i gotta admit, the publicity dept did a great job at planning and executing this year's cpn. GOOD JOB GUYS;)

i totally enjoyed myself. weeEe..~

we, lau ren(your beloved superseniors) were reminded of the good ol'times when performances werent a bore and dances were terrific.

all the groups did a swell job. yAy!!

i didnt know what he was trying to do but he was eNtERtainInG~!

they were trying hard to crump. just look at gekhan's 'facial crumping intensity'

he was trying to act cool but failed terribly

happy kids:) i guess only real boys wear pink

hehe:)

tik got excited and was lost for words,vivian too.

happy kids part2:) nabilah open your big BIG EYES!

isty has small eyes ey.. just realised~~

that boy with his mouth agape is sherman. i think he got rabies~

the one standing is adam. he's at his almost gay moment

nahh~ this camp wasnt an oppoturnity for me or ANYONE to shed weight

we were fed well.

our dear TICs kept feeding us

see what i mean

the overfeeding resulted in this strain of FATNESS!!

(ok wenbin dont be angry!! you look peculiarly 'handsome' in this picture*smiles*)

we all returned home haPpy:)
for those who werent happy, ohwell! that's your lost!!

*pictures will be uploaded soon ya kawan-kawan!! di multiply saya :)

some wonder why i always go back.
wanna know why? coz i left my heart there

f*ck

2007-06-27T17:13:00.000+08:00

//****//

im uber pissed and beyond sad.

i've been looking forward to it since the start of April.

i just dont understand why some people choose to be selfish.

Fucking pissed.

dont think that you're the only fucktired soul.

asswipe, others got more important stuff to attend compared to your fuckup rendezvous.

selfish b*itches.

i hope you turn ugly. really ugly

sendiri

2007-06-24T14:28:00.000+08:00

// sendiri //

Biar dia mencariku dan biarkan dia terbang jauh.
Dalam hatinya hanya satu, jauh hatinya hanyaku.

Katakan ku takkan datang dan pastikan ku takkan kembali.
Lalu biarkan dia menangis, lalu biarkan dia pergi.

Sayang kau selalu sendiri, sampai kapan pun sendiri.
Hingga kau lelah menanti dan lelah kau menangis.

tik

2007-06-20T18:02:00.000+08:00

// BFF //

the BFF turns 18 today :)
i wish her all the best for alevels- hopefully 5As eh.
all the best with her short man.

and as cliche as this will go

may our friendship last forever

happy 18th birthday tik.

stupidity

2007-06-19T20:23:00.000+08:00

// dora and zuli //

have you ever tried hanging out with dora?
i tried, and my IQ decreased by 50.

when we first met, she asked for my name
Zuli
she asked how old i am
18
and she said
ooo, that's big!!
i smiled wryly.

anyway, boots * i guess he is dora's bestmonkeyfriend or something* wanted to listen to a story so dora told me to pick out the big red book which was in her backpack. however, to get access to her bag you needed to call for it. sheesh.

dora told me
say backpack
and i did
backpack
dora insisted
louder
i tried to be nice and did what was told
BAGPACK!!

dora, boots and backpack thought i was dumb and needed help in picking out the big red book. Guess what? im not dumb. i know a big red book when i see one.
thereafter, dora read a story about chickens or something like that, i wasnt really interested and besides the story was in spanish.
blablabla~ was watching my nails grow while boots paid utmost attention to dora's chicken story.

we didnt have any plans so boots, being the monkey he was *literally suggested that we visit the BIG RED CHICKEN who lived on the BIG RED HILL. i was fine with that but we didnt know how to get there. no bus, no train so we had to walk.

dora said that we could use her map to find the BIG RED HILL- but i had to call for the map. i was like huh? you mean the directory?

she shook her head and exclaimed
say map!!
i hesitated and uttered
map...?
dora persuaded
louder!!
map!
boots rubbed in
say it louder!!
i gored
MAAAAPPP!!

and it popped out. gosh, i thought map looked like some kinda skinny gay who just removed his braces. anyhoo, we consulted map and he told us the way.

"get over the bridge, pass the blue fence and you'll reach the big red hill."

i just couldnt understand why dora and boots needed to continuosly chant what map said. i did nothing and just followed~ but the singing part was fun. i sorta knew the words and sang along.

come on barimos!! everybody lets' GO. come on lets get going, i know that we can do it!
where are we going?! BIG RED HILL
where are we going?! BIG RED HILL
where are we going?! BIG RED HILL
BIG-RED-HILL

and for some unknown reason, i giggled and laughed along with them after we were done singing. darn i felt gay.

we were walking and walking and finally i found the bridge. dora and boots had uncorrected vision or something so i had to show them where the brigde exactly was. *it wasnt exactly out of sight, i guess i was the only smart one who knew what a bridge looked like*

when we were about to cross the bridge, dora noticed that there were gaps in between. some gaps were &%^$ (some spanish word which means small) while others were grande (big).
they seeked help from a spanish-speaking bird to get planks to close the gap. ouhgawd!

they managed to get across but i pangseh-ed them and went to meet yan to pass her the sunflower.
happy 19th birthday yan!!

i got to know from sis that dora and boots did manage to meet the BIG RED CHICKEN on the BIG RED HILL. but they got swiped by swipper the fox before they get through the fence. i was quite suprised that both of them were smart enough to figure out which key to use to unlock the gate.

sheesh~ i shall meet them again tomorrow to congratulate their undying effort- if im awake tmr afternoon...

sally sendiri

2007-06-17T20:34:00.000+08:00

//sally sendiri//

when friends meet we make the world spin faster.

we celebrated wawan's 22nd birthday.*old man

friend get thinner and i get jealous-er

we miss moo moo and asri

atikah gave me PATRICK!

and i brought him to sheesha

with the BIG GUY

it was the four of us but hell it felt like there were more.

happy happy saturday.
now i DEMAND that i go out with ,my nursing peeps.

trans

2007-06-14T22:09:00.000+08:00

// the uncanny //

gaspS!

i had come to realise that transvestites are a million times hotter than me.
oh gosh, i feel gay~

do i have the transvestite potential?
mak says, "maybe..."

that's paula at the back,

does she have the tranvestite potential?

mak says, "yelaaa..."

100th

2007-06-11T00:11:00.000+08:00

// my 100th post //

lean on me, when you're not strong
and i'll be your friend, somebody to lean on.
-some song i heard on TV

a good friend of mine just called me, exclaiming about his excitement as he viewed the friendster profile of the girl he's madly in love with.

we spoke on the phone for over 30miuntes and the topic was solely on the girl.
whenever we meet, we'll have our own private conversation. the rest in the clique thinks that there's something betwen us. hell no. we connect well and we talk alot- alot about the girl. he wants to hear nothing else but words about her.

i guess i had become his love consultant. cheh..
he told me he cant sleep at night and asked me why. i told him, you have found your love my friend. she's right in your face.

***

i have another friend though whom i've known for almost 10 years. he changes his girl like clothes. he tells me things that made him happy. he taled his escapades with the girl he likes. sometimes, he asks me to chose which girl to woo.

above all that, he would come to me&atikah whenever his heart breaks. he'd pour out all his pains and damages to us.
he told me why must this always happen to him. and i answered, you have yet to find your love my friend. she will come soon.

i guess i too am his consultant.

its heartwarming to know that old friends still turn to me in good or bad. its good to know that im not forgotten.

that verse in green up there that you see- it applies to all my friends, the old as well as the new.

kingdom

2007-06-07T16:16:00.000+08:00

// the green kingdom //

once upon a time, she was madly in love. maybe love's not the word, she was blinded by her own self-deluded infatuation.
she was very much breathing the person she liked, she dedicated a journal to him and wrote sweet things about him.

she remembers, she used to moon gaze with him. at times, he would tell her to look at the moon.

he said, "look at the full moon"
"its not full, its semi-full"
"well, i took part of it. give me your hand."

he placed his palm upon hers and whispered, "here, my part of the moon to you. keep it."

but all good things come to an end ey? he found another light and left. she took a while to recuperate and moved on.

but that part of the moon he gave her- she still keeps it close to her heart.
night brings back memories. the silver glow that brightens up the raven velvet sky puts her heart in turmoil- a feather of lightness but weighed with bitter.

she's all mended now but still tainted with scars- scars she will hide well.
everyone's been damaged before, it's just a phase- a necessity for growing up.

delirium

2007-05-30T09:50:00.000+08:00

//delirium//

when the fever sets in, something else controls the body. the throat is burning the body feels paralysed the head keeps spinning and the chest unable to rise.

i dreamt of being chased. i woke up drenched in my own cold sweat. i wanted to call for mak but the throat didnt allow. i felt hot tears as i sat gasping in bed.

all i did thereafter was to utter prayers. i asked forgiveness from Allah. i didnt want to be chased. i didnt want to be hated by Him. i love Him and all my family and friends.

when i become delirious, i feel my sins. there's too much and they're weighing me down. i am sinful. im sorry mak, ambok.

i am sinful.

game game

2007-05-21T10:58:00.000+08:00

// i got tagged.. grrr//

This is what you are supposed to do. Cut and paste if you decide to participate in the tagging game.Each player of this game starts off by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names.After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog.

1) when my emotions are at the extreme, i write letters to myself to feel better.
i will hide the letters in weird places in my room- like in between books or behind the shelves hoping that one day after i die or something my family will chance upon them and read them. then they can know how i feel about stuff.

2) i like to.... heehee... pull out my armpit hair before i sleep.
OMg!! it's a thing my sister and i do before we sleep. and if we find it too hard to pull a certain hair, we'll help each other!!

3) i enjoy doing the laundry.
i really do, i feel that it's therapeutic. the washing machine is the best invention man made. clean clothes make me feel happy :)

4) i sing out loud when i jog.
ok, i only sing when im alone. that's why i like to jog at weird places like the punggol east flyover cause no one is there and i can sing my heart's content. i dont sing when people are around cause i sound bad. my favourite jogging song is ROMPE and TOXIC.

5) i grind my teeth when im half awake and half asleep.
i do realise that im doing it- it feels good. but when im fully awake i cant grind for nuts and i dont think i grind when im asleep.

6) i used to think nurses can meet God.
when i was wayyy younger, i thought God passes babies to nurses in a special room at hospitals so that they can pass it to the mothers. i was 4 and that was why i wanted to become a nurse back then. i wanted to meet God.

the woman would like to tag

1) bernie
2) yufan, if you READ this do ok!!
3) mamsock
4) siradrian
5) wenbin?
6) wenbin's girlfriend; whoever she is~

yang Suci

2007-05-18T23:18:00.000+08:00

// yang Suci //

Alhamdulillah.

aku mendapatnya sekali lagi. aku menyangka ianya tidak boleh ku capai kerana sifat malas yang senentiasa berlegar disisiku. tetapi Allah telah memberiku peluang, satu motivasi buatku supaya terus berusaha.

aku berharap aku dapat tenangkan hati emak dan ambok. aku juga berharap aku telah membuat mereka gembira dan berbangga dengan kecapaianku.

kan ku terus berjihad untuk kebahagiaan emak dan ambok.

ROAR!

2007-05-17T22:16:00.000+08:00

// roar like you mean it //

your skin
oh yeah your and bones
turn into something beautiful

yellow by coldplay is a great song. it's almost 4 years of age but i never get tired of listening to it. the lyrics are poetically simple yet deep. the arrangement is somewhat unique and soft to the ears. plus, the fact that it's old, makes it all that nostalgic.
when you're in the bus and your plugged on to yellow, the ride gets pleasant as you'll think happy thoughts:)

***

i drew this over the weekends. i call it ganglion art. only the gifted can appreciate.. cheh..

this is lady reaching

and this is slender woman

aiseyman, ugly sia.. i know. but gimme chance la, i first timer~

i have this pimple on a secret place. it hurts. i tried to squeeze it but it has no 'eye'. my blind pimple is stubborn and had strategically located itself in a spot that is utmost inconvenient.
thanks uh pimple

to all earth lovers who tagged: small contributions go a looong way. do you part and save earth, animals and ourselves:)

cuaca

2007-05-09T21:09:00.000+08:00

// weather //

almost everyone's complaining about the f*cked up weather. its raining now? isnt it suppose to be the dry season? no rain, dry dry dry, so dry you can do laundry like 5 times. but sky wants to tear this may and screws up most of my jogging plans. when it aint raining, its so darn hot, my lip balm melts and i can feel my nostril hair singe.

its global warming my dear, its really getting to us.

i watched this documentary commercial on arts central about polar bears crossing the ice sea and i almost cried *ihaveathingforanimals*. thanks to us humans who sparked off global warming, the ice sea is melting and polar bears cant get across- they fall into the morbid cold waters and the die of exhaustion while struggling to find land.

everyone's f*king the weather. but in the first place- who is the one at fault?
hair sprays and cologne with CFC are used to make us ugly people feel good. we use the aircon like nobody's business. everyone wants a car/bike thus contributing to the depletion of the ozone *imguiltyofthistoo*. we DEMAND plastic bags from stores just for our pathetic 500ml bottle. sheesh

when it rains, we swear and curse.
when it doesnt rain, we do the same.

before you think of f*king the weather again, f*ck yourself first.
YOU are guilty for the intense heat and sudden rain- and dont deny it.

extinction

2007-05-07T21:18:00.000+08:00

// extinction is forever //

siberian tigers are the cutest animals God made. i love the way their coat fluff up to make them look extra cute when snow falls.

blue whales are gentle, free and happy:) they swim the vast ocean and sing their hearts' content.

i once saw, on tv, a huge mummy giant panda cradle her baby. she nestled herself between bamboo shoots and nursed her tiny baby. adorable.

baby elephants are simply adorable when they bathe together-gether in the river with the rest of the herd. they laugh and giggle and make their mummy happy as they splash around.

i hate watching documentaries- they make me cry.
if i were superduperwoman, i'll adopt a siberian tiger, a blue whale, a giant panda and an elephant. but im not.

save the animals. save the earth.
animals are too dear to vanish from the earth.
God made earth for us so please, lets not destroy home.

addict

2007-05-03T23:21:00.000+08:00

// ketagihan //

i've found myself an addiction.

i wanna stay addicted to it.

join me if you are game enough.

rain oh rain

2007-04-29T13:05:00.000+08:00

// rain oh rain //

for the past 2 days, the rain had made me and wenbin sad:(
how else can i LOOSE weight if the sky keeps crying dinosaur tears?
i forced myself to wake up at 5am on a freaking weekend only to be dampened by the scent, sound and sight of rain. urgh!!
i wanted to do it last night but shopping with sis got the better of me. *sigh..

the sky was sad up till 930am. and i am sad up till now.

dear sky,
can you only be sad at night. say 8pm till 3am? don't cry at the break of dawn coz wenbin and i wanna loose weight. and don't cry from 11am to 4pm coz i need to hang out the clothes.

huh! i know why you are crying in the wee hours of the morning. you're sad- sad at the fact that us humans are slowly killing the earth. sad at the fact that hardly anyone listens to God. you choose to cry when everyone is asleep coz you are trying to hide.

ouh sky, dont be sad. show me your sunshine smile.

May Allah bless us all. Amin

precious daughter

2007-04-24T23:16:00.000+08:00

//precious daughter //

first daughters are always the most precious. they are the first ones who are gonna suck dry the pockets of the in-laws and greatly benefit their parents.

when mak's not around. she'll wash the dishes, hang out the laundry, cook simple dishes, delegate chores to the other siblings and ensure that homework is done.

even if she seldom listens to what the ambok says, he got no choice but to love her and give her money to spend on clothes, bags, earrings and moisturising cream.

the ambok doesnt like it when she puts on make up and dresses up. he'll tell her that she's still a budak kecik(small child) and make up and pretty clothes are only for adults.

he'll have to give in to her now because she threatened to put him in a nursing home later if he doesnt comply to her needs.

he tells her about God almost every night. she listens, stores and keeps but aint ready to practice it yet. BUT! she swears to do so soon.

the almost pampered eldest daughter who came before 4 others and who is fortunate to have an ambok who brings fatty food home for her to binge. coz he thinks she's skinny.